avocados

i've been thinking a lot about where i want to live in the future. because i love new york, most recently, bay ridge or outer queens have held high potential and i even spent a lot of time looking into various down payment relief or housing relief grants provided by the city and new york state that would help me buy a house fast. i've long known that i want to live somewhere with at least one extra room, as expensive as that might be; for hosting homestays or foster placements. and walkability seems extremely important and not even guaranteed in the city at all, to the extent that i grew up with - which makes me nervous.

my diet has been a high cause for concern recently and it's a concern i am throwing everything at addressing. i don't have enough food autonomy to be as satisfied as i am about giving myself a dietary restriction, but there you go. 

today i ate:

• sliced avocado with paprika, salt, garlic powder, lime for breakfast
• dining hall pho
• meal-prepped bowl of broccolini with garlic powder

eventually i will write up a list of my culinary heritage and post it here to describe the movements i have emerged out of and beyond.

i've been experiencing a lot of avocado guilt and was hesitant to buy them. the monoculture and heavy reliance on Mexican exports is apparently terrible for the environment, and each avocado produces something like twice the amount of carbon dioxide as one bunch of bananas.

california, though, has a beautiful climate for avocados apparently; and there are many species outside of Hass. i can simply go on facebook marketplace and buy locally-grown avocados from a vietnamese family in Milpitas. i realized that wherever i live, i should have an avocado tree and enjoy its bounties and flowers and crucially, nutritious calories. 

i'm a place poet whose international experience has made me jaded, in a way. i was looking at different cities to fly to for spring break and feeling despondent about the placelessness of cosmopolitan downtowns with a crystal shop and multiple indie cafes and high high high end restaurants in the socially-accepted global flavors of the day (let's say thai, italian, japanese x5 (includes sushi and omakase), tapas, fusion....). 

but here is the difference of places.

• their history before and outside of the wealth
• anything outside of the commercial front
• and what will grow.

i have slowly begun to be more connected to anarchist and radical movements as i search online. the herbal reproductive care provided to santa cruz farmworkers, 83% of whom are undocumented. when i see this, i realize that touring a place without its movements is so hollow, extractive and empty.

i believe i never want to live in california; its weather and smallness drive me insane. over the weekend though i got to visit so many places with ken's family that i've only ever been able to see on a map. modesto, merced... it was beautifully suburban and full of blooming almond trees. i guess in that sense, maybe?

anyways, back to the avocado tree. i realize i need to make certain human concessions in the face of natural predispositions. this question of what will grow, and living near the fruitbasket. i'm so excited to see where that takes me.